Flourish For Mums Author Sonia Bestulic shares her top tips on how Mums can redefine self-care.
I became a mother to three children; who all arrived in the world in two years and 7 months. My initial self-care definition was to sleep when I could, eat as regularly as I could, and get some movement in, while I strived to get back to ‘real exercise’. My self-care luxury treat was to get a manicure every month. I was in survival mode; adjusting to what seemed an enormously overwhelming responsibility of looking after three amazing small humans; whilst still leading a company and wanting to tick the boxes of being a good wife, daughter, sister, and friend.
But where was my tick box for being in a strong, nurturing relationship with myself? It didn’t exist! Yet. And it doesn’t, for many mums – but that is set to change.
When it comes to mums, self-care is often deemed too hard; an additional chore; expensive; and wait for it… not important enough. 78% of mums report putting everyone else’s needs before their own; often at the expense of their own health and wellbeing. Becoming consumed by societal, cultural, and personal expectations; takes mothers on a path of disconnect from themselves.
Self-care in the world of motherhood needs urgent redefining and reprioritisation. Why? Because quality and deeply fulfilling self-care are accessible to all mothers; AND it is the crucial cornerstone for thriving in life. This then flows on, to a more present nurturing of others; and importantly it role models healthy self-care; as an essential and important life skill for our children to experience, witness, and learn too.
The beautiful thing about self-care; is that it is a super personal and unique way of rediscovering and reconnecting with your ever-evolving self, and honouring that. It is retraining your brain, with an updated priority, that you matter too, and that you are valued.
Here are 3 ways to kick start your deeper level of self-care
- Begin the day with you. Allow yourself some time each day before the children wake up; to spend time with you; in whatever way you want. For example journaling or listening to music, enjoying a shower followed by a full-body moisturise, stretching, mindful meditation.
The list goes on – and the key is to begin the day on your terms; for you.
- Set a daily ‘pause’ alarm. This alarm is a reminder for you to pause, and take five minutes for yourself doing ‘nothing’. You might do nothing by observing any nature around you; lying down, or sitting with eyes closed listening to relaxing music.
This serves the important purpose of breaking your ‘auto pilot’ circuit and resetting your energy.
- Finish the day with some quiet moments reflecting on what you are truly grateful for in the outer world. This may be your child, or your good friend. And then review the day with an honest acknowledgement of something you are grateful for in your inner world such as time you took for yourself and how you practised patience and self-kindness.
This broadens your perspective to see and appreciate the good stuff going on which we can often take for granted. It also creates energy to invite more good stuff into our lives.
Mums, with self-care, redefined, and accessible to us all; it gives us no choice but to collectively flourish, and enjoy the flow-on benefits to those we share our world with.
About Sonia Bestulic
Check out Sonia’s Podcast Chatabout Children with Sonia Bestulic
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